Jonathan Richie BW.tif

For all the millennials out there, how about that show CatDog? Now that was the perfect combination of both animals mixed with a lot of nerves and insanity.

CatDog was a cartoon on Nickelodeon from 1998-2005. They were conjoined siblings, one a cat and the other a dog, and each controlled two front paws and shared a body. Absurdly implausible but hilarious to a seven-year-old. Even seven-year-old me knew the dog was the better of the animals. (Also, I’m sorry for the parents that had to watch their kids brain turn to mush as they watched CatDog)

I got to watch a pair of dogs over the weekend. They are not dumb dogs, but they sure have separation anxiety things going on. Two hands would not suffice while trying to pet them. While I was petting one of them the other was watching me with the thought of, “why does she get all the pets?” Then would nudge his way in front of me. That would set her off and she would again try and gain the upper hand by bullying her way in front of me.

What if I dared not pet either of them?

Well, they would just start barking. Then they began trying to join me on the couch.

This ended with both of them jumping on top of me on the couch and having me pinned down for about 45 seconds while I tried to figure out an escape plan. The only thing I could think of was to just start screaming and flailing my arms around. So that’s exactly what I did.

At this point it was best if we all got outside for some fresh air. That seemed to calm them down for about 12 seconds.

Also, anytime I would get up they would follow me around, even into the bathroom.

It was like being the Pied Piper.

This leads me to my main point which is - dogs are great and cats are not.

Very few things in life are that simple, however this argument is just that.

Lassie, Old Yeller, Beethoven, Checkers Nixon and Pavlov’s dog are all famous canines.

And what does the other side have – Garfield. We get it Jim Davis, he’s a cat that loves lasagna and hates Mondays. Relatable – yes but does anybody care? Famous cats also include Grumpy Cat and Hello Kitty, again useless.

Yes, many people equate dogs with stupidity and smelling bad. And they also lick themselves incessantly and then they want to lick you.

But what have cats ever done?

They’ve got knives coming out of their paws. And you cannot de-claw cats because it is the equivalent of a human being having their entire fingernail ripped off. That’s right, not clipped but in fact ripped off.

Cats also have this thing about them where I always feel they are plotting against me. So I prefer dogs.

In the end there are two choices. Dogs, who want to be your best friend or cats who want to eliminate you in your sleep. I’ll let you decide what pet is best for you.