(I had written a letter to Santa earlier this month hoping that Giannis “The Greek Freak” Antetokounmpo would re-sign with the Milwaukee Bucks. Then he signed the $228 million supermax contract extension and I thought, “What else can I ask good ole St. Nick for?” So, here’s that letter.)
Here is what I would like this year. I know you get these types of letters all the time, but I just wanted to add another onto the heap before you head out this evening.
First off, stay safe out there. I don’t know what’s been happening at the North Pole, but it’s a mess down here. We’ve got a global pandemic, people trying to ruin democracy and some politicians still think there is an attack on Christmas happening.
You’re the big guy. Can’t you talk some sense into them?
Something like “Hey everybody, Santa here. I was told you’ve been having some difficulties with disease. Well this is what you get when…” then just do some ad-libbing that will make people happy.
Second, How are you? How’s Mrs. Claus? You two are going on what, almost 200 years together? Good for you. These days people end up dying before celebrating 100 years together, not to mention 200 years.
Third, I am still a little angry you didn’t bring me a Nintendo 64 in 1998, 1999 or 2000. All of my friends had them, and yes, I do mean all of them. Just ask my mom. We talked about this back in the day. I only had five friends and they all had them. It wasn’t like the Playstation2 catastrophe when I told you that “Everyone had them.”
Alas, that was a bit of a fib. But I grew and learned from that moment and I try to be less hyperbolic since then.
And finally, I would like to stay healthy during 2021 and if there are any significant expenses the universe decides to dump on me, please give me a two-week heads up.
Sincerely, Jonathan Charles Richie, still no chimney – Siren, WI.
Thoughts on Santa
Well, it might be a little late, but I got my letter to the big guy done.
Here’s the thing about Santa and me - for the longest time, I thought Jesus and Santa were the same people.
In Sunday School, we learned about Jesus getting crucified, rising from the dead and then disappearing. Then a few months later, we celebrated his birthday.
It just made sense to me. The father and holy ghost are hanging out in heaven and Jesus was turned into Santa to keep us all happy on earth.
This is similar to characters in movies like Hercules from Disney’s Hercules or Little Nicky from Adam Sandler’s Little Nicky. The hero gets to stay on earth and protect people.
Have a happy and safe Christmas and holiday season, and we’ve earned it this year. Also, take a mental health day for yourself – you deserve that too.