Let us all take a moment to not be so serious and laugh. After all, laughter is the best medicine. Unless a doctor has advised you to take real medication, then by all means please continue taking that and this column can be a kind of
Last week, I wrote about the ridiculousness surrounding a potential COVID-19 vaccine and the conspiracy theories that came along with it.
But as I was lying in bed Sunday night, I thought of something even funnier than if the vaccine implanted us all with 5G so Big Brother can track our every move.
What if instead some of the scientists working endless hours to come up with a vaccine for this virus to end a global pandemic shifted their attention to something helpful and whimsical?
That’s right - I’m talking about color-coding diseases.
Color coordination is a staple amongst humans. Some of the most important things in our societies are color-coded like periodic tables and closet spaces.
I’m almost certain scientists should be able to make it so people with COVID-19 turn neon orange.
It would be so much easier walking down the street if you saw somebody with a neon orange head and then thought, “they’ve got the virus run away.” It would not feel great for the people with the virus, but they should not be on the sidewalk anyway.
If we can put a man on the moon and a camera on the ocean floor to see what’s left of the Titanic, there should be nothing in our way of getting this done.
If anything, this could make life easier for all of us.
Let’s say you run into an old friend at the grocery store and you did not see their Facebook post about contracting a fatal disease, but luckily there whole left side is red so you know without having to say anything that they don’t have much time left.
People with cancer will have purple hands.
The possibilities are endless.
Pregnant women could have a certain shade, so no man will ever have that odd silence after a woman explains she is not pregnant.
This could be very beneficial or very detrimental to society as a whole. Diseases could become a new race.
What a headache that could become!
Now that I’m thinking this through, it could be utterly disastrous. People with cancerous tumors getting angry at those for showing off that their tumors are benign. Who decides what color goes with what disease? Would people try to get dysentery before a big football game so they wouldn’t have to paint their faces in team colors?
No, I don’t think our society is quite ready for color coded diseases.
We have enough issues with judging people on their looks.